The Most Ridiculous Celebrity Baby Names

Remember when parents gave their offspring traditional names that wouldn’t warrant a schoolyard beat down? Yea, those days are as far behind us as were the days when kids could actually be kids–but that’s another post, for another day. Here are some of the most bizarre celebrity baby names (in no particular order):

  1. Beyonce + JayZ = Blue Ivy Carter. This is the most nonsensical name ever.
  2. Gwyneth Paltrow + Chris Martin = Apple.  I hope her middle name isn’t pie or croustade.
  3. Angelina Jolie + Some Country = Maddox.  Angelina probably got a deal, Buy 2 Babies, Get 1 Silly Name for FREE.
  4. Mariah Carey + Nick Cannon = Moroccan Scott (Boy), Monroe (Girl)… she had twins… at least one has a semi-normal name.
  5. Erykah Bardu + Andre 3000 = Seven Sirius, Puma (from another marriage). Puma 3000 would sound like a shoe.
  6. Courtney Cox + David Arquette = Coco.  I hope this child doesn’t grow up to resemble the Coco that married Ice-T.
  7. Alice Kim + Nicholas Cage = Kal-el This was Superman’s birth name… well that explains a lot.
  8. Victoria + David Beckham = Brooklyn, Cruz, Romeo AND Harper Seven. I hope Harper’s Dad doesn’t change his number or else she’s going to have an identity crisis.
  9. Bono + A Woman = Memphis Eve. I’d never leave Memphis, I’d be too embarrassed.
  10. Paula Yates + Bob Geldof = Peaches Honeyblossom. I‘ve always wanted to be named after a fruit and a flower.

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