P.S. The rest of the clip is Luther Krank (Allen) trying to find a replacement for their lack of Christmas tree.

Nothing beats the smell of real pine needles mixed with gingerbread houses and hot cocoa. Maybe the smell of burning plastic and wire lights if you’re contemplating putting up an artificial Christmas Tree. Seriously, if you’re going to put up an artificial Christmas Tree, why not just go the distance and put out fake presents with empty boxes just wrapped up in pretty paper and bows. Sure, it’s more expensive. But you’re already spending hundreds of dollars on the newest edition of COD (that is Call of Duty for those out of the loop) for your full-grown son, so what’s another forty-something dollars for a real tree, that may even outlast your artificial tree if FeeFee has her feline way with it. How boring is it to just stroll down the aisles at your local Kmart and choose the most enthusiastically pre-decorated and sporadic branches unequally distributed along a six foot stick?  You know what artificial Christmas trees remind me of? Those horrific “camouflaged” cell towers on the sides of the Garden State Parkway.  You know what I’m talking about. Those tall brown round columns that are obviously too thick to be any tree on the East Coast (unless something was transplanted from Muir Woods, CA). Then they have these ill-fitting “branches” sticking out from the sides covering up the wires and other technological extremities. (See picture below if you don’t know what I’m talking about…haha)

Why not try to go out to a local tree farm (I prefer the one in Allentown, NJ off I-195)?  It’s such an adventure to venture out into a sea of tall, short and everything in between trees. It’s a search similar to that of finding the perfect (wo)man. You may spot love at first sight. You may think you’ve found the right one and find unacceptable flaws underneath the beautiful green skirt. It may take several tries and encounters with different trees before you find the one that fits you and your needs. Once found, take in hand your hack-saw and get to work on the overly stubborn trunk and hope to the higher powers there is a gentlemen in sight with a John Deere transporter to relieve your arms from the torment of dragging this six-footed monster 100 yards to the cashier. After successfully reaching the wrapping and cashier station, the tree is wrapped up tighter than a Christmas ham and then strapped to the roof of your car for dear life.  Upon arrival at your residence, you treat that tree like a member of your family, or closer, by watering and feeding it over the next few weeks. And if treated properly, this tree could last you past January… if you so chose to keep it up that long.  With a real tree, you’re granted a blank canvas for your decorating pleasure.  Grab the lights, the tinsel, the popcorn garland and the poorly-made-yet-well-intended elementary school ornaments. Some people prefer to take the more simpler route, but my family takes on the theory of the more the merrier. I will supply photographic proof in the next week or so.

So the choice is up to you America… are you REAL or ARTIFICIAL? ENJOY!

6:40 is a personal favorite Movie Moment***

You know these hideous things as “Gaucho” pants.  Originally, gaucho pants were the fashion staple to women in the 60s. And unfortunately made a resurgence in 2005. These things are the biggest fans of the Wedgie.  If you’re wearing anything, including granny panties or a thong, the whole world would know! They’d even be privy to a pre-screening of your derriere. How considerate of you (the wearer)! Where them on a first date, and your man will have dinner and a show once you get up from the table.

Hair Bands with Bows.

These things are all the rage right now.  It’s as though the youth of America doesn’t already want to grow up and join the rest of the young adult world, but are now reverting back to childhood wear.  What’s next? A binky on a string attached to your BEBE top?

Pastel Ugg-lies.

I am all for UGGs. I have had the same boots since freshman year of HIGH SCHOOL. But I was walking behind a girl today across campus and she had on pastel Uggs. I will admit, already, they are not the most fashion-forward designs. But, hello! they are soft, furry, warm and fuzzy. And you try walking through the city in zero degree weather in your Bear Paws or Skechers Ugg-wanna-bes and see how fast frost bite is nibbling at your insignificant pinky toe.

Kanye West Sunglasses.

Okay, seriously, WTF are these things? As if the obnoxious “rapper” doesn’t have enough things to do to try to be famous, he has to go ahead and wear this ridiculous pieces of plastic. They were all the rage at the boardwalks by me this summer, and all I wanted to do was spray water in the eyes of the wearer and be like “yeah, and I bet it doesn’t protect you against UV rays too… hello cataracts in 20 years!”

FUPA.

It’s almost like the Mom Jeans syndrome that occurs with older women.  Why? Just what makes you think this looks good, or comfortable for that matter? Can’t you find some jeans that fit?

Stupidity Blows Out Your Mind Hair.

Just like Miley, this picture will send me off into a rant that will last from here until the Mayan’s 2012 apocalypse. Are you a 13 year old girl? Stop making the kissy face. Did you stick your finger in an electrical socket? Buy a brush, Walgreens has them on sale for $4.99. Are you going to the gym? Or were you working up a sweat holding you hands up to blow out your hair? And then the chin strap… gross.

Leg Warmers.

Are we back in the 80s with Richard Simmons in an exercise video? And worse… the girls who wear these over jeans! This just looks stupid. I’m sure you don’t need leg warmers in the middle of summer in Arizona.

Do Your Pants Sag Low?

This I never have understood. This cannot be comfortable for you. You’re 20 something years old and your pants are past your buns and being held on for dear life by that pathetic excuse for a faux-leather belt. In what respectable industry in the work environment are you allowed to dress like this? Buy a properly fitting pair of pants and an Italian leather belt and then maybe you’ll get an answer to those “hey bay-bay’s”.

Got any trends you hate?

… I’m Asian doesn’t mean I speak an Asian language, so stop assuming.

… I’m Asian doesn’t mean I’m good at math or science.

… I’m Asian doesn’t mean I’m a bad driver.

… I’m a girl, doesn’t give you the right to touch me at a bar.

… I’m a girl, doesn’t mean I can’t love hockey more than a boy.

… I’m from NJ doesn’t mean I can’t pump my own gas or check my oil.

… I have a MAC doesn’t mean I don’t miss my PC.

… I’m a girl doesn’t mean I like the color pink.

… I’m nice doesn’t mean I’m weak.

… I’m talkative doesn’t mean I’m always confident.

… I’m adopted doesn’t mean I don’t take after my adoptive parents.

… I’m born on New Years Eve doesn’t mean I get any less presents.

… I’m a college student doesn’t mean I’m lazy, drink every night and don’t have multiple jobs.

… I’m a DEVILS fan doesn’t mean I don’t respect the Rangers and their organization [ but do I hope we crush them every game, yeah?! ]

… I’m a girl doesn’t mean I don’t listen to & enjoy hardcore bands.

… I’m a Jersey Shore local, it gives me the right to hate on every Benny that comes to vacation in my town.

… I live in the U.S. doesn’t mean I support everything the government does.

… I am great at public speaking, doesn’t mean I’m not shaking before I go up to speak.

… we were once friends, doesn’t mean we’ll be friends forever.

… I’m 22 years old, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a fruit by the foot.

… I’m graduating college doesn’t mean I know what my next move is.

… I hang out with more boys than girls, doesn’t mean I am sleeping with them.

… I’m a girl doesn’t mean I like drama… at all.

… I’m always happy, doesn’t mean I actually am.

Honestly, I’m not the most forward thinking when it comes to music. I’m not the hip-scene kid that seems to find the hippest tunes before commercial media picks them up and ruins them after relentlessly playing them to the point of obnoxious.  I hear a catchy tune, it may take me a few times to warm up to it, then I sing it for about a month straight. This week’s Tuesday Tunes is “Fireflies” by Owl City.  Owl City was a project based out of Minnesota by Adam Young in 2007. “Fireflies” hit the Billboard Hot 100 at No. 1 in October of 2009. The introduction to this song has a Postal Service feel to it .  This pop song has a mixture of synthesized tunes with whimsical lyrics, an instant ear pleaser for the pop music lover.  The lyrics all fall to the wayside when a crescendo of the chorus takes over mid-song.  Just listening to the song you’ll have visions of fireflies dancing in your head. ENJOY!

Source: Last FM